


An Incestual Wife Swap (Plus One)

by bakedpotatocat



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Incest, Multi, Strip Smash, Voyeurism, Wife swap, dick measuring
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:40:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23728441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bakedpotatocat/pseuds/bakedpotatocat
Summary: First time writing incest / voyeurism but I feel pretty happy about it!Usually I would default to having Roxy plow Dave up the ass, but this was a fun challenge for myself.
Relationships: Rose Lalonde / Roxy Lalonde / Dave Strider
Comments: 1
Kudos: 15
Collections: HSCCS Promptfest 2020





	An Incestual Wife Swap (Plus One)

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [HSCCSPromptfest2020](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/HSCCSPromptfest2020) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
> 
> Roxy and Dave compare their pricks to see who is bigger. The smaller of the two (who might not even be below average, and I'll leave it up to you who that is) gets dominated. Total porn logic, but feel free to invent context and backstory. Brownie points if Rose is somehow involved, even if just to think they're both stupid and comment on the toxic ideal that bigger is better. Absolutely no requirement to maintain canonicity or their relationships. They can all be siblings, or they can be found family, roommates, a recently developed (poly?) couple (trio?). Literally any angle so long as the core theme is there.

You could tell Dave was in deep over his head, and it made something in your heart stir.   


You were over at Dave’s apartment, as usual – the two of you were having their usual Friday night, as it were. Karkat and Kanaya were at her house, probably watching some old movie and bitching about their dumbass friends. The small apartment was mostly occupied, other than the bedroom and the rarely used kitchenette, by a couch, large TV, some game systems, racks of DVDs, and a pool table, across which Roxy was laying suggestively, her blouse half unbuttoned.   


Roxy and her progressively further undone blouse were a new addition to the ‘wife-swap’, which usually consisted of a mix of cheesy movies and amateur therapy (by which, of course, you meant you mostly just poked at Dave about his week). In that way the two couples weren’t that different. You had invited Roxy along this fine evening because the previous week, Dave had shared some *very* interesting and … dare you say, positively *oedipal* fantasies. You had obtained his permission, of course, and Karkat’s as well – Callie merely requested a written account for her personal use, and Kanaya was very used to her wife’s proclivities and sexual openness. You had almost considered dragging Jane in for the x2 HOT MOM combo, but Dave would have to be persuaded to take the first move in that case, and Jane was among the most chaste of your group of friends. Starting with Roxy was much preferable.   


Roxy took another dramatic swoon as she bested Dave in another round of Smash Bros (the juvenile part of your brain almost went for a pun, but she prevented herself. The gloating could come later.)   
ROXY: alright nerd lose another piece of clothing  
ROXY: you didn’t realize id been in the fuckin hyperbolic time chamber training  
ROSE: Was that an elusive Dragon Ball Z, reference, my dearest daughtermom?  
ROSE: I had no idea you were so cultured.  
DAVE: yeah yeah alright  
DAVE: my shirt is coming off  
DAVE: its leaving the country   
DAVE: hopping a flight to Mexico   
DAVE: changing its name to Don Juan in an attempt to both score chicks and hide from the feds  
DAVE: falling in love with a wonderful woman who turns out to betray him to said feds  
DAVE: spending the rest of its life in prison cursing itself for thinking with its dick  
DAVE: its shirt-dick  
DAVE: whos idea was strip smash anyway  
ROSE: I do believe I suggested it.  
DAVE: then why did you tag out three rounds ago  
ROSE: Someone must supervise, darling.   
DAVE: alright well supervisor pass me another fuckin tab  
DAVE: thanks for bringing these by the way roxalot  
ROXY: no big no big  
ROXY: you wanna get clobber-sucked by the kirb again or you want me to change  
DAVE: lets take a break actually  
DAVE: im losing clothes too fast  
DAVE: wouldn’t want something rash to happen  


He did, in fact, want something rash to happen, but had no idea Roxy was on board, and you find great joy in the fact that he was sweating slightly. You smirk a little. Everyone was already half naked, but obviously Dave needed a little push to finish the job. You look at Roxy knowingly.   
DAVE: y’all wanna play pool  
DAVE: the gentlemen’s stickball  
DAVE: the rich fella’s bar chess -  
ROXY: more like the gentlemens stick and balls lmao  
DAVE: ayooooooooo  
ROXY: AYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOO  
ROSE: You two are insufferable.  
DAVE: bitch u know you love it  
DAVE: look i had a whole riff i’ve been working on but ‘gentlemens stick and balls’ blows it out of the water  
DAVE: so anyway if you want to play pool you have to get off the table  
ROXY: this green felt is so comfy thoooooo  
ROXY: ok now that i think about gentlemens stick and balls i was actually wondering  
ROXY: bc dirk and i are both trans u technically inherited ur dick size from me  
ROXY: i think that’s how ectobiology works  
ROSE: Its much more complicated – stupidly, pointlessly so, at that, but you have the right idea generally.  
ROXY: eheheheh science bitch wins again  


Dave looks like he’s started sweating again, not knowing where this is going.  
ROSE: Roxy I believe, against my hopes and dreams, that you may have lost the plot somewhere along the way and forgotten to ask the central question.  
ROSE: Are you asking, as the figure who supplied the ghost DNA for Dave’s male chromosomes, how large the family jewels are?  
ROXY: yasss bitchhh  
ROXY: davey my boy how big is your dick  
ROXY: WAIT WAIT WAIT  
ROXY: i got a wayyy more fun idea  
ROXY: lets compare directly  
DAVE: you literally want to have a dick measuring contest  
DAVE: roxy what the fuck is going on  


He looks at you pointedly, and you can feel the glare (and excitement) through his shades.  
ROXY: its wifeswap night is what rose said  
ROXY: lets swing baby  
DAVE: okay im just going to ignore some of the implications of that but uh  
DAVE: rose can you help me out here  
ROSE: My dearest, I’m not going to bail you out here.  
ROSE: Show your mother your dick.  
ROSE: And let’s put a fun wager on it, perhaps?  
ROSE: We’re a betting family, after all.  
ROSE: Let’s say, perhaps, that the person with the smallest dick gets fucked.  
DAVE: don’t you have the smallest dick by definition  
ROSE: While the two of you double-teaming me is an enticing propostion, I do not think I’ll be joining tonight.  
ROSE: Kanaya, as they say, blew out my back walls the previous evening.  
ROXY: lmao gross  
ROXY: i thought i saw you walking with a slight limp  
ROXY: how big is HER dick  
ROSE: Bulge is the preferred terminology, but perhaps you can ask her yourself.  
DAVE: alright did i miss the sexual liberation train bc i know june’s slept with basically every girl we know  
ROSE: You’ll just have to run after it and catch up.  
ROSE: Holler after the caboose with your little stick and bundle, hopping on as it gets up to speed.  
ROSE: You aren’t far behind, mind you, its only just left the station for most of us.  
ROSE: A domino effect, if you will.  
DAVE: alright fine  
ROXY: aight im in  


She hops off the pool table, stretching, grinning, and shaking her ass a bit.  


DAVE hesitates, but he’s on the hook, now, you just have to wind him in.  
ROSE: Oh come on, Dave, you most likely have the bigger dick.   
ROSE: Where would Roxy hide hers, anyway?  
ROSE: Those tiny skirts hugging her nice, tight, round ass.  
ROSE: Tucking does a lot, as I’m told, but it isn’t a miracle worker.  
ROSE: We’ll get a measuring tape and everything. I’ll judge fairly, you don’t need to worry.  


His face is stone-cold sober, but his shirtless, well-muscled (and more scarred than you would like) chest is beating fast, you can tell. There’s a small twitch in his sweatpants that you find more than a little alluring. Roxy, as you know, is a good bit smaller than Dave, a side product of her transition. Dave’s dick, as Kanaya gossiped to you, is a solid 9 inches hard. The perks of having your brother’s lover be your wife’s best friend. You slap Roxy on the ass, the strike rippling through her short shorts, and grope her junk for good measure.   
ROXY: dayum girl give me a sec  


She pops the rest of her blouse wide open, but you stop her, pulling it off her shoulders and kissing your daughtermom, putting on a show for the recalcitrant Dave. You slowly kiss your way down her body, unhooking her bra with one hand as you slip your hand down the front of her shorts, loving the way she gasps as you fondle her. Gods, she’s gorgeous, and while a little part of your mind chastises you for the oedipal attraction, you save it to harangue Dave with. He loves getting teased about it – drives him crazy in the best way – whereas for you its only a sore spot of self-disgust.  


You’ve talked at length with Dave about your respective sex lives. There’s little you can’t tell a man you went on a suicide mission with, and it warms your heart after your long and lonely upbringing to have a sibling to gossip with. And now, it seems, someone to share a partner with. A hot mom with.  


Perhaps the predilection towards MILFs is genetic at root.   


You did marry the mother of an entire species, after all.  


Roxy has at some point become fully hard during your internal monologue – it only stops, really, when you’re getting fucked, but that’s not in the cards tonight. Kanaya and the furious masturbating undergone while planning this has worn you out. You pause groping her and look back at Dave, grinning devilishly. His sweatpants have officially tented – at some point he sat down in the easy chair to prevent himself from losing his balance or doing something so rash as touching himself. This is uncharted territory from everyone, but no one seems particularly thrown or uncomfortable, so you proceed to the next step of your dastardly plan.  


You pants your daughtermom.  


Her respectable dick pops out, bouncing slightly as she groans and you giggle. Six inches hard, as she tells you, but measurement is an imprecise thing. Girth can vary at different places on the dick, and the base, being skin, has a bit of give to it. Add in the imprecision of varying levels of hardness and curve, and it can be very difficult to accurately measure a penis at all.   


You go over and pull down Dave’s sweatpants and boxers, just enough to let his own rock-hard rooster, and your official, unbiased opinion is that Dave is bigger, both in length and girth. It’s a nice set of family jewels, suits both of them well.  
ROSE: I declare Dave Elizabeth Strider, Esquire, the winner of this here dick-measuring context, by a wide margin.   
ROSE: Roxy, show our lucky winner what he’s won.   
DAVE: look we dont have to do this if you don’t want to  
ROXY: yes maam  
ROXY: and dayum i want to  
ROXY: look at that hunk of meat  
ROXY: you better plow me well  


She licks her lips hungrily, which makes you shudder a bit. You produce some lube from your sylladex, and begin lubing her ass up as she shakes it, posing for Dave, dick twitching excitedly. Her breath is accelerating, and she grins at you, a twinkle in her eye.   


Dave looks like he might run, but now isn’t the time to get cold feet. He starts to stand, but you shove him back into the chair, holding his chin in your hand.   
ROSE: Dave.  
ROSE: Don’t get scared now.  
ROSE: Do you want to fuck Roxy up the ass?  
ROXY: cowboy im dying to ride that thing  
DAVE: yeah  
DAVE: yeah i do  
ROSE: Then do it.   


Roxy steps into the chair, bending her knees so that she can nestle her ass onto Dave’s dick, guiding it in with one hand. You take a step back, finally giving in and touching yourself, watching voyeuristically from the couch as the head pops in, Roxy and Dave both moaning, and as her ass descends, inch after inch disappearing into her well-trained hole. This is so fucking dirty and hot – you convinced your mom to fuck your brother, and vice-versa, and while you’re happy they’re having a good time, you can admit to yourself that you went to all this trouble to see your own fantasy realized.  


Too cowardly to do the incest yourself, you merely set it up to be watched.  


Roxy and Dave speed up, and you spasm a bit as he takes her tit into his mouth and smacks her ass, claims it as his own in a way that a little part of you wishes he would do to you. Its glorious to watch in its depravity, particularly delicious with the thought that it was your own selfish desires that set this entire thing up.  


Dave slows down, stops, the two of them catching their breath – there must have been some dialogue you missed – and they reposition, Roxy leaning over the coffee table, staring at you with craven desire as Dave gets on his knees and starts to slam her from behind. She tries to start talking, but Dave finds her prostate and she quickly dissolves into mewling, eyes rolling in the back of her head as she twitches and her dick, pressed against the dark wood of the table, spasms, painting her tummy in slowly spreading white as she rocks back in forth from Dave’s vigorous thrusting. You’re hammering at your own clit now, desperately approaching a crescendo, trying to find a way to find the focus and energy to lambast Dave for fucking his mother, the very oedipal act you teased at him for years over, your own hidden, Freudian drive that your mockery barely concealed. And now as he drives her crazy in front of you, slamming into her ruined ass repeatedly, all grown up, with your own sexual intrigue driving you up the wall, you can’t find the energy to satirize the situation.  


Dave looks at you, for once having lost his shades, his red irises piercing into your soul in the way only family can.  
DAVE: rose i swear to god if you make some freud joke about this roxy and i will fuck you senseless  


You’re not quite ready for that, so for once you shut your goddamn mouth, and enjoy the show.  


  



End file.
